


Monsters in Paradise

by Quillsandcoffee



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Drabble, M/M, mentions of implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillsandcoffee/pseuds/Quillsandcoffee
Summary: Ronan finds himself falling into a dark place and Adam is there to catch him.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	Monsters in Paradise

Red, bright eyes. Glistening claws. The form rose above him, its mouth sharpening into a tool of destruction as it bore down on him. The swirling snow pressed him back, diving into him and slicing his flesh, again and again.

Ronan held up a hand to block it but it was no use. The snow dug into him, crystalizing into ice and cutting his skin. He gasped as he held up his hands to reveal blood, red and dripping, on his fingers.

He ran for it, ducking under the creature and sprinting as fast as his legs would carry him. His breath came in fiery exhales as his lungs burned. Running, faster and faster, but never fast enough as the creature caught up and swatted him into a tree, a forest of trees now, rising tall and victorious above him. Taunting him. He grunted, pulling himself up but the creature grabbed him, shaking his limp, helpless form.

“What do you want?” he roared at it, the sound ripped from his throat by the shaking winds. He pounded his fists against the hand holding him, kicking and struggling but not strong enough.

What I always want, the beast answered and he was thrown on the ground, spine arching painfully as he made impact. What you always want. To suffer.

Ronan panted, rising shakily to his feet. He was used to this by now. The beasts coming to kill him, new beasts with new spite, all coalescing into his worst nightmare. Himself. Even after everything that had happened he wasn’t ready to let it go, to give himself a break. Maybe if he disappeared everything would get better.

But what about Matthew? What about his mom, barely alive, barely stable? What about Cabeswater and all the dreams he had put inside it? These thoughts kept him anchored, loved ones and responsibilities to them, a reason for survival.

So he stayed, for their sake, for Adam and Gansey and everyone else who needed him. But here, in the safety of his dreams where no one else could find him, he could suffer. He could feel the pain he needed to feel.

The beast roared and the sound was amazing, earth-shattering. The ground crumbled beneath him and he stumbled. He held out a hand to the tree next to him, trying to find stability, but it too fell underneath him. He was all alone, just him and the monster, not even the earth standing between them anymore. It grabbed him again, its icy fingers digging into his back and making him yelp.

The monster held him, tighter, tighter, till he could hardly breathe. He felt the monster’s breath on his face, felt the icy winds. Then suffer, it said, and he crumbled into a million little pieces.

Ronan gasped, sitting up straight. Sweat stuck his shirt to his skin like glue, soaking through the thin material. He was in an apartment—Adam’s apartment. On the floor were strewn various gifts and wrapping paper from the day before and a lone ornament huddled in the corner. He felt hot, despite the snow fluttering outside his window, snow that was just that, not some terrible monster out to get him.

He ran a hand over his face, taking in a heaving breath. The dreams had become more frequent recently, though he had thought in this place with Adam maybe they couldn’t get him. Foolish. Luckily he hadn’t brought anything back–this time. The thought of ruining Adam’s new apartment had been enough for him to hold back, but there was no guarantee he would always have that same self-control.

He hadn’t told anyone about the dreams yet, though he insisted to himself that he would, eventually, when the time was right. As of right now it seemed selfish to worry them, especially on Christmas morning.

The blankets were tangled around him and he kicked them off with a grunt. There was a protesting murmur at that and he looked down to realize why he had been so hot. Adam was curled against him, soft with sleep, and reached blindly for the safety of the blankets again. He noticed Ronan’s startled features and sat up a bit, peering up at him.

“You alright?” he asked, peering intently into his eyes. Everything on his face said he cared for him. Every flutter of an eyelash, every tired yawn, every freckle dusting his face. Ronan was honored that such a creature as Adam Parrish would dare to care for him.

He thought about the monster, furious and raging, all anger and pain. He thought about himself, the same monster he contained inside of him that threatened to ruin everything he had built for himself, to collapse the shaky pillars of trust he had constructed. He thought about Adam, still looking up at, waiting for an answer. His mouth was pressed tight with worry and his eyebrows were scrunched in concern. Adam, too, was assembled out of hate and anger and knew what it meant to fear oneself. If anyone were to understand, it was going to be him.

“Nightmare,” he explained simply, his voice expertly nonchalant. His cool attitude was ruined by the sweat still beading on his forehead and the muscles coiled tightly in his face.

“Anything we should be concerned about?” Adam asked, sitting up more fully. Slowly the veil of sleep was falling off of him, his more alert, cautious self taking over. “Will there be a mysterious creature that joins me in the shower later?”

Ronan was only able to give him a hollow laugh, the potential of Adam’s words all too real for comfort. “No, only me. You’re safe for now. I… I pulled back.”

Adam turned so that his body was pressed up against Ronan’s, one hand tracing softly up the shaking skin of his back. They curled at his neck, scraping firmly against his scalp so that shudders ran pleasurably down his spine. Ronan was a man of physicality and Adam knew that the mere presence of another human being, alive and hot and real, would provide more comfort than any words he could give. Gansey was words and assurances, Blue was actions, and Ronan was warmth and gentle touches like this. With his other hand, he grabbed Ronan’s, softly playing with his fingers.

“Parrish,” Ronan warned without any real protestation. “Keep that up and you’ll find a repeat of last night.” The words were an evasion, a taunt that side-stepped the real issue. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Adam asked, ignoring him. He was no stranger to secrets himself and when he could help it he didn’t like to prod into other’s business unless given explicit permission.

Ronan curved into Adam suddenly, bearing down on him so that they found themselves pressed tight into the protesting mattress. The kiss was firm and slow, a warmth that spread like fire from their lips to other places. When he pulled back Adam was flushed but glaring, irritated that the conversation had been so easily derailed.

“Ronan, you—”

“Later,” Ronan interrupted, the words quiet but intentional. “I promise. Just not now.”

Ronan didn’t break promises. Adam softened his gaze, nodding once, and the two fell into each other, their bodies fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces. And for a moment, brief as it may have been, Ronan forgot all about monsters.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at my tumblr: https://crookswithbooks.tumblr.com/


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